Nancy's Blog 的个人资料Nancy's Blog照片日志列表更多 工具 帮助
7月24日

Scooter the Scalawag

I wrote this story several years ago.  Scooter is 13 years old now, and still a scalawag.

My Jack Russell Story:

SCALAWAG: scamp; rascal.

My sister and I still laugh when recalling the day I brought home my new 7-week old female JRT (my first JRT). I stopped by to show-off my new pride and joy, Scooter Michelle, to her Aunt Mary Fran, Uncle Stan, and cousins Abby and Bogey (two West Highland White Terriers). On that first encounter with her two cousins, I was the cautious mother and was afraid Bogey and Abby might hurt Scooter, so she didn't get the chance to play that first day. This decision, of course, was the source of our laughter in the time to follow.

As Scooter grew in size, so did her reputation as a scalawag. At Scooter's first introduction to her "cousins", she was running circles around them. Bogey and Scooter are best buddies, while Abby (the matriarch) must maintain her dignity. The sliding glass door in my family room has a doggie-door which leads out to a large fenced yard. Coming home from work usually leads to a scavenger hunt in the backyard, trying to find the books, tissues, pillows, and articles of clothing Scooter has spent the day with in the backyard. Sometimes the scavenger hunt ends very quickly, like the time I found the dead snake (heavily chewed) in the family room or the time I came home to find Scooter had created her own "snow" in the yard ripping up a brand new box of personal feminine hygiene products.

On Scooter's first Thanksgiving, Scooter and I were invited to my sister's house for a lovely family dinner. We enjoyed visiting and snacking on crab dip in the family room before supper. When dinner began we all moved into the dining room. As the dinner progressed, I started hearing a strange "clinking" sound, and asked my sister what she thought it might be. Getting up from the table and looking into the family room we were stunned (and amused) to see Scooter up on the coffee table helping herself to the leftover crab dip, licking the bowl fervently while her collar tag clinked against the bowl.

One day when I was drawing a bath for myself, I left the bathroom to get a new bar of soap. While I was out of the room I heard a soft splash and rushed in to see Scooter in the almost full bath, relieving herself in the water. I guessed the feel of that warm soothing water was too much for her. Needless to say, I started my bath over (after much tub scrubbing). Not long after the tub incident, summer arrived. My sister had just taken the cover off of their pool and invited Scooter and I over for a swim. I knew Scooter loved water (at least tub water) and was anxious to see how she would take to the pool. That strange deja vu feeling came over me when Scooter jumped down to the first step in the pool, then squatted to relieve herself. I guess it doesn't matter if it's warm tub water. I've even seen Scooter relieving herself in puddles at the park.

This last Christmas I was dog-sitting Abby and Bogey, so along with Scooter and Trixie, my mother and I were wrangling four dogs at the "Doggie Dude Ranch". One wet afternoon I had the task of drying-off 16 paws after the dogs' romp in the yard. When I got to Scooter I noticed that it looked like her rear-end was greasy and commented to Mom. "Uh-oh" was my mother's reply. "What?", I asked. "Remember I gave myself a cuticle treatmeat last night, and alittle while ago I saw the jar of Vaseline on the floor on my bedroom". "Was it empty?", I said. Mother and I headed for her bedroom and found the virtually empty Vaseline jar. "Well," I said, "The name Scooter certainly fits her now!". I called the vet and he assured me there was nothing toxic in the Vaseline, but did verify it would produce a laxative effect....it did, for about 8 hours.

So many stories, so little time. Thank goodness my family are dog-lovers, and can still laugh about how I was so worried about Scooter being overwhelmed around other dogs.  

7月14日

Ultimate Female Joke

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her

girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy

middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take

her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare

and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)

 

Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over

and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want

me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00 only on one condition..."

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied,

"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

 

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed

a $20.00 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along

with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and

meaningfully said....

"Clean my house."